中文發聲工具
http://www.kanhan.com/tdc/tools1.html
copy from La chambre 502
http://www.rm501.net/?p=164
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
當紅Van司機遇上綠Van
日前有幸遇上一輛由(我懷疑係)紅van司機駕駛的綠van。我覺得，一部新簇簇，設備齊全的綠Van，係會辜負紅van司機的一手好技術。
紅van司機先生的特點有好幾個，列舉如下：一、轉彎唔減速，刺激程序幾近男友的改裝車。二、直路不斷加速，我由葵芳返青衣，在天穚上有一大段直路，司機行80幾；但新車上總有時速計時器，一過80就係咁響，有型的紅van司機當然唔理，故路上一直響。三、當然係紅van司機的絕技：車未停定就開門，客未落晒車就關門開車，所以他幾乎冇時間係停車的，只有減速。
一手好車技如用在通宵車上，當然會令乘客感激，但如用在短程綠van，乘客基本上唔太趕的話，就只有落得某男乘客落車前冷冷的一句：「以為自己賽緊車咩」，以及我好想好想問出口的：「司機你係咪?開紅van架？」
想知多d紅van司機的技術，可參考:「香港公共小巴司機」 勁過麥拿倫車隊
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
眼訓+頭痛
自從星期六響廣州飲完酒，三點半訓，七點半起身之後，我就一直冇清醒過。日日都好似發緊夢咁樣。如果有人覺得我呢幾日睇落都好似好清醒，講野都好似好有邏輯，咁只不過係因為呢樣係我天生識扮野的本能。
跟住，我仲要做Presentation同埋personal log。嘩哈哈哈。今日我同左老細講，我黎緊呢兩個星期都唔返工。原本佢係想我返住工咁做工課。有人俾錢我做功課我都唔肯，我一定係傻左。
今日收到一個短訊，話今日真係凍左好多，叫我著多件衫。嘩其實收到都唔好話唔開心，之不過，如果係由我識的人寄過黎會開心d。我有一百分之一百肯定呢個人一定係寄錯左呢個短訊。:P 我真係衰，冇話到俾呢個人聽佢寄錯左。哈哈哈哈，就當真係我收啦。
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System
copy from http://www.xanga.com/the_declining
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance - particularly in
the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such asRomance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to
no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME to download
Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1
is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall
another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory
and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
好鬼準喎你都未話
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything! You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Friday, November 04, 2005
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Monday, October 31, 2005
想買的書
書名：波係圓既
作者：伍晃榮
出版社：經濟日報出版社
雖然伍晃榮退休了好一段時日，但大家依然好懷念這一位，用幽默風趣手法來報導體育新聞的老牌新聞報導。
但他寫的回憶錄，是繼商台的李我回憶錄後，另一本很精彩的傳媒人回憶錄。由他對時下新聞報導員懶音的批評、他對電視新聞工作的點滴回憶，一些舊情舊事，以至他幽默風趣報導手法的起源(竟然是他在辦公室政治下，食死貓後苦中作樂的產物)，都有清楚而有趣的描述。對非傳媒人，由這本書可以看到伍晃榮的幽默功力並非虛傳，而是建基他的講故事(story telling)能力。
對在職的新聞人，大概可以看到，一個老牌記者，對專業要有的嚴謹要求。他得到觀眾愛戴，不是因為他在新聞講笑話，而是他對專業的一份執著。港幣六十八元，是沒有白花的。
(後話：比起黃興桂，伍晃榮是幽默，黃興桂那是廢話式惡搞，囧)
相關連結
維基語錄：伍晃榮( 竟然連維基都有伍晃榮呀!!!!!)
http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/伍晃榮
以上書評 copy from: http://www.martinoeihome.net/blog/?p=3
另外一本想買的書就係華叔個本新書。
青文唔知有冇入，有就買啦，當幫下老闆。
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
必紅
Jennifer Anston(珍尼花安斯頓)，必紅。
觀乎其他荷里活頂尖靚佬的「前另一半」，都會紅。唔知係咪因為要努力擺脫「xxx個女朋友/老婆」的稱號，所以發奮圖強，定係因為之前一直甘於安逸享福(老公搵咁多又靚仔，樂做少奶)，未有全力將潛能發揮出來，到要靠自己的時候就一發不可收拾。你看看畢彼特在Jen之前個女朋友，Gwyneth Paltrow桂莉芙柏德露，手左手之後又狂拍好戲又拎埋影后，畢生恨都恨唔到。之前佢一直係「畢彼特個女朋友」。
當然仲有妮歌潔曼(Nicole Kidman)，同湯告老斯離左婚之後不單只靚左(好多好多)，又變得識做戲(好似冇拎影后？)，從此幾乎無人記得佢曾經同湯生結左十年婚。(定八年？)Penelope Cruz(彭妮露古絲)仲差d啦，不過佢都唔係同左湯生好耐。Demi Moore呢？喂Burce Wills都唔算靚佬。
珍尼花一直都紅架啦，做Friends人人都鐘意佢，有一年仲好似入左xxx權力榜，畢生連影都冇。不過你知，電視一直比電影低Grade少少，佢做的電影又暫時未有一齣好勁。所以，過冇耐睇下佢點樣一齣戲可以「More than Rachel」唔再做傻大姐，拎埋影后，就，真正係紅。
以上係睇完People關於珍尼花同佢「新男友」Vince Vaughn的報導後的感想。Vince Vaughn就係史密夫決戰史密妻裡面，做畢彼特個拍檔個個人，肥老丑殘。 Jen, dont take it serious呀!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
獨食難肥
近兩年來，每次見到一d冇見幾個月的朋友，大部份對我講的第一句說話都係：「嘩你做乜瘦左(咁多)」。
我成日話如果我知，我一定會出書，介紹無痛減肥法，有成功例子如我，必賣。
其實，我知道點解。因為我寂寞。因為成日食飯都冇人陪，所以太煩唔想食，唔揀到自己好想食的話就唔食。而且食都食得唔開心。
以前住嶺南，因為同房幾乎冇返過房住，我過左大半年單人房生活。後來k住進來，Judy又成日黎食飯，伙食又好左好多，個陣時我都肥左一dd。後來讀城大，因為要返工，經常在來往的途中食午餐，非常麻煩，經常唔知食乜。
好多人話可樂同芝士蛋糕好肥，但係當一餐只係飲一罐，或者只食一件，就想肥都難。我成日都會肚餓，但肚餓又未必一定有野想食。
其實，對比街上一d好瘦好瘦的女仔，我都唔算係瘦得好恐怖。我只不係，唔想再肚餓。
前排在學校的email收到以下電郵，非常奇怪， 因為本身呢個電郵都已經好奇怪，真係估唔到在香港，有乜野人會用佢呢個服務。第二奇怪當然係因為我收到，聽者有意。第三奇怪係佢from的電郵竟然係cityu.edu.hk，但好明顯係錯架喎。
From: Rebecca@Lau.cityu.edu.hk
To: dont
標題: 增肥!
好多人話增肥容易減肥難~
都市人的西式飲食文化都趨向令人肥胖,但有幾多人知道對於一個食極都唔肥o既人黎講,'增肥'簡直係只能夠幻想而不能實踐的願望?!
有人一日食五餐,有人強迫自己餐餐大魚大肉,有人經常運動健身甚至配合增肌奶粉也生不出一點肉來,其實他們只想外型好看一點、自信多一點、體力好一點....但最終卻令人失望,但又不可不堅持下去。
試想想...如果一個人的吸收系統出現問題,吃什麼也不能吸收當中的營養,那豈不是白白浪費食物???
而運動就只能收緊線條及加速增肥的進度,但如果連生肉的運作也不行,又說什麼收緊和加速呢?!
白花金錢已不在話下,而每當看到街上擁有健碩身型的人就只有羨慕不已。
而我已經掌握到增肥的要訣了~ 成功案例多不勝數!
無論是由細瘦到大,食極都唔肥,或者天生體弱者,我都能一一解決!!!
如果你是當中的一份子,而又認真想增肥的話~
Email 你電話比我 fiteasy@yahoo.com.hk 或者打 (852) 92764313 Rebecca問清楚d啦 ^_^!
*值得與你身邊的朋友分享啊!~
(尤其是香港呢~ ^^ )
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